Que Sera Sera
I have tried online dating for many years and it wasn’t until recently that it has finally become the new norm. Before, there was this stigma associated with online dating….thoughts of:
loser, low-life, pathetic, desperate, weirdo.
To resort to meeting someone online because you aren’t capable of hitting it off with that Ryan Gosling look-alike standing in line at your favorite coffee shop?! Sooooooo lame.
Today, it is completely different. Having 800+ friends on Facebook and thousands of followers on Instagram is the new social climbers’ goal. Going to painting parties or hiking with people from Meet Up and finding your future husband with a swipe of a finger is completely acceptable.
For those of you living under a rock and have no idea what ‘online dating’ is (and probably aren’t even reading my blog hahaha), go here for Urban Dictionary’s helpful definitions.
First things first…..
- If you are a cute outgoing girl, getting dates will be ridiculously easy.
- If for some reason you decide to give online dating a try and post old flattering photos of yourself that you hardly resemble, you are only setting yourself up for failure. Be smart and post photos of how you really look without deceiving angles and filters; or just wait until you feel confident enough to post accurate photos of yourself. Trust me on this one.
The downsides to actually being a cute outgoing girl who is brave enough to meet people from a dating app:
- I exchanged numbers with someone from POF and he asked me to send him a selfie while I am flipping off the camera.
I immediately texted back
because that’s just something I would never do. Then he continued with a request of me sending him a selfie as I pick my ear…. I was noticing a trend.
So I asked,
He then said,
I want to make sure you aren’t a catfish. ……..
I was flattered and offended at the same time! And because I was more offended than flattered, I sent a selfie with my finger (very) close to my ear, like I had something to prove….
- I was messaging someone from Tinder and he was surprised that I wasn’t a Tinder Bot…..
What the heck is a Tinder Bot? (I wondered to myself, then asked him).
He said that they are basically profiles that are spam…..
I was really surprised, and then again, flattered/offended. I then Googled ‘Tinder Bots’ and found this.
- I met a fellow Tinderer at a local Mexican Restaurant and as we sat down and were digging into the chips and salsa, he told me that he was scared that I was going to rob him!!!
……..I thought to myself, WHAT?! …….
He then told me that he saw on the news a story about how innocent guys meet cute girls from Tinder and unbeknownst to them, there is a van full of armed cohorts waiting to rob said innocent guy……
Again, flattered but offended.
So being an attractive female on dating sites will afford you many dates, but you may also be accused of being a catfish, spam or thief hahaha!
- Majority of the guys are looking for relationships rather than one night stands.
- Anyone can message you, and when you receive messages from ugly duck after ugly duck, it can feel discouraging.
- The app usability is sub par and their annoying ‘meet me‘ alerts that you can never view unless you pay for membership need to go.
- Most of the guys will live really far from you, so if you do find someone with attractive photos and an impressive ‘about me‘, he probably lives 70 miles away from you.
- Can’t delete your account until it’s been open for a minimum of 24 hours, therefore no take backsies or changies for those dreaded 24 hours.
- You have to answer a series of required questions regarding what you are looking for? Are you a smoker? Do you drink? Do you like pets? What city do you live in? Do you want kids? Are your parents still married? What do you do for work? Did you go to school? How ambitious are you? And continues on and on. Can be tedious.
- Meet singles who live like 5 miles away from you.
- You can only talk to each other if you both ‘Like’ each others’ profiles.
- You can delete your account anytime and open a new one anytime.
- You must sign up and log in through your Facebook account, therefore can only use photos that you have on your Facebook account and can also see which people you have mutual Facebook friends with, which is kinda cool because the sketchiness level dissipates.
- It is wildly entertaining. If I got a dollar for every bad selfie a guy took or the group photo that they use as their ‘profile photo’, I would be so loaded! Plus, reading their ‘about me’ section, assuming they wrote one, is also entertaining. And because I took the time to read someone’s bio, I discovered Tinder Nightmares…..which is superbly wonderful entertainment.
- It is truly a breath of fresh air to see how many physically attractive guys have their shit together! The majority of dates that I have had were with guys who have their degree, career, their own place, goals, ambition……. they are seriously the package.
- Everyone I’ve met has been completely normal, I’m either very lucky or Tinder is brilliant.
- The app uses your phones’ GPS and although it won’t list which city you are in, whomever is looking at your profile can see how many miles away you are from each other. But learn from me, I was matched with someone who was only 9 miles away from me earlier in the day and then 72 miles away from me later that night because he lives in SD but was doing a job in OC hahaha!
- It is ridiculously shallow… Unlike POF, you only have to share your age, name, photos and write a little optional ‘about me‘ section. Therefore if you end up ‘liking’ someone simply because of their photos (since they chose to not write anything about themselves), you’re a Shallow Hal for sure.
- It is disgustingly addicting. You can see who is single and lives close to you. You can see the last time they were active on the app. And you get excited when someone you like is your match, just like winning bonus points at the end of a video game. It’s so so so bad.
- Because Tinder is so efficient at finding people to meet, there is this notion of ‘I can do better‘. Therefore, finding someone who you actually can see yourself in a relationship with, can be rather difficult and frustrating.
- And again, because you can see the last time they were active on the app,
Which was like 20 minutes ago….
Yet you texted them
Good Morning 😍
3 hours ago….
You may go crazy wondering why they have time to be on Tinder but not text you a courteous
Good Morning 😘
back… I mean, Tinder is on your phone.. texting is on your phone.. WTF?!
App dating advice from David, 29 who is 4 miles away and was active 25 minutes ago:
So you’re looking for the one huh? You’ll find him…but you’ll be so sexually starved when you do that you’ll fuck him on the first date, he will lose interest, the sweet texts will stop and you’ll be all alone with your pizza rolls swiping left and right again while he dates someone that’s challenging enough to keep his interest for longer than a weekend.
And if you do meet someone who you genuinely like, here’s some great advice that I found here:
Once you have met someone you are genuinely interested in, now is the time to play the long game. If they are just as interested in you then let love take its course.
Trying to intervene by demanding exclusivity, or demanding that they remove themselves from the site too early, can be hugely counter-productive.
Remember that not everybody thinks the same way and although you may be keen to remove your profile get on with enjoying real life, the other person may not have even considered that they can remove their profile.
So chill out, play it cool, enjoy the experiences and keep your fingers crossed. At the end of the day, for the first month or so when meeting someone new that is all you can do anyway.